Sunday 30 July 2017

How have I changed over the last 5 years?

Five years ago I had just turned 17, I was in my first year of college. I had literally no idea what I was doing, and to be honest I still don't. I was surrounded by some really good people that sadly I'm no longer in contact with. I was very naive and my view of the world was very uninformed.

In Febuary 2013 I travelled to The Gambia. It was a really eye-opening experience and I saw the world in a new light. I got to try new foods, visit new places and spend time with people that I had never met before. Back in October 2013 my life took a turn, and I went through an experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone. It is only now that I have actually been able to come to terms with what happened and the effect that it has had on my life since.

I become extremely vigilant and scared of the world. I've struggled to trust anyone and closed myself off to the people around me. My confidence dropped and it left me feeling like I wasn't able to achieve anything that I wanted to. Even the simplest tasks became impossible.

Not long after that I started dating my current boyfriend, Luke. He through out everything has been my main supporter. I'm so grateful for him being there for me when I was unable to talk; as well as when  I was ready to. We have now been together for almost 4 years and I'm excited to see what the future has in store for us.

Now, I feel like I've learnt a hell of a lot since then and it's been a roller coaster. Only now do I feel like I am in a place where I can work towards the future. In the last few months I have started regular attending Church which is something that I have really come to enjoy and it gives me a sense of comfort. I am also hoping to start therapy to help me work towards rebuilding my confidence. I am determined to not let that horrible experience not determine who I am or my future.

The last five years have very difficult at times but also full of amazing memories. I'm excited to see what the next five years bring!

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